tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85133747151441613132024-02-19T04:40:12.103-08:00On a new adventureGomes 'Ohanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12244550654729824221noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8513374715144161313.post-11657166960361554772019-06-15T15:35:00.000-07:002019-06-15T15:35:02.681-07:00When the Trenches are too Deep...<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When the Trenches are too Deep…<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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It’s been a long time since I’ve updated this blog. I’m not
someone that openly shares about the hard places, the emotional lows, or the
outright anger that I feel in such open forums. I’m good on the one to one
conversations. I don’t feel that I hold back in those situations, maybe sometimes too honest?? But when it comes to social media, I’d rather make people laugh and groan at parenting generalities
instead of sharing those really raw places. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I write this is I’m flying back from Colorado. Without my
son. I mostly felt the need to write this simply to explain why Kanoa won’t be
present in pictures and social media posts to avoid any awkward questions and
having to repeat myself. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s been four and a half very long years since we brought
Kanoa home from a Ukrainian orphanage. What we knew about his history that day
I stepped out of the orphanage with him was extremely limited. And I can’t say
I know much more today. Kanoa wouldn’t talk about that time. He has shared a
few stories, but none were kind and they’re scattered enough that you have to
do some loose interpretations. No matter what, he’s a child of trauma. By the
age of five years old, he had learned survival skills that were completely
unhealthy and destructive. We walked in with open hearts and were completely
unprepared. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I detailed a bit about the shock we experienced in a blog
post soon after he came home. I tried not to sugar coat it too much, but I
glossed over so many hardships. We quickly realized we were outside our
parenting capabilities and sought help which brought about the diagnosis of RAD
(Reactive Attachment Disorder). I feel like this is such a great quote
describing RAD:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“</span><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Attachment Disorder is defined as the condition
in which individuals have difficulty forming lasting relationships. They often
show nearly a <u>complete lack of ability to be genuinely affectionate</u> with
others. They typically <u>fail to develop a conscience</u> and do not learn to
trust. They <u>do not allow people to be in control of them</u> due to this
trust issue. This damage is done by being abused or physically or emotionally
separated from one primary caregiver during the first 3 years of life. If a
child is not attached – does not form a loving bond with the mother – he does
not develop an attachment to the rest of mankind. The unattached child <u>literally
does not have a stake in humanity</u>” (Magid & McKelvey 1988).”</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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If you’d like to learn more about Reactive Attachment
Disorder or what the symptoms are, a great place to start is <a href="https://www.attachment.org/reactive-attachment-disorder/">https://www.attachment.org/reactive-attachment-disorder/</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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RAD honestly encompasses every adoptive family’s worst
nightmare. I want to pause right here though and be very clear, no matter what
trauma Kanoa (and children like him) have been through and have subsequently
caused makes them no less worthy of a family. Of being chosen. Of being shown
love. He may not be able to understand it or receive it at this time, but that
does not mean he shouldn’t be given the opportunity. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Through the last four and half years we have absolutely
struggled. It has taken its toll on our marriage, on our other children, on
decisions we make on a day to day basis. We have sought help and guidance,
educated ourselves on best responses and practices, and structured Kanoa’s
world in the best way we knew how. In some ways, we’ve succeeded and, in
others, he’s no different than the rabid child we brought home over four years
ago. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Kanoa has taken both Paki and I to the breaking point over
and over. By God’s grace, Paki and I usually are able to trade off on who is
able to be the steady, sensible person while the other is just DONE and needs
to walk away. At our lowest points, we had discussed disrupting the adoption…
the dirty word in the adoption world. Just bringing it up in certain circles
will bring about shame, ridicule, and rebuke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But walk a mile in my shoes and tell me how my family should live. Tell
me how much chaos, rage, defiance, destruction, and abuse your family can take
before you need to make hard decisions. And so I wrote into a private group
asking for guidance, options, recommendations and advice.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I learned about a program in Colorado that helps children
like my Kanoa. A program that does intensive therapy, full mental health
assessments, therapeutic parenting, and a full range of other services that
just aren’t available where we are at. It’s been a long road just getting Kanoa
into the program and it currently is a diagnostic placement for the summer. If
he does well and they think he will succeed, they will keep him for the full
program of 6-9 months. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And here come the emotions of it all… the week leading up to
this trip, we were on a family vacation in Maui. What that looks like for us is
Kanoa sleeping in the room with Paki and I because we can’t trust him in with
the other children. From the time he wakes up (ridiculously early), you have to
keep one eye open because he will try to sneak out to either mess with the
other kids or get into things that aren’t his. The change in routine also
throws him off so defiant, disrespectful behaviors escalate. I posted
beautiful, blissful pictures on social media, but if anyone noticed, the only
pictures of Kanoa were the ones in group pictures. He missed out on most of the
fun events because he was constantly messing with someone, willfully disobeying
us at every turn, or being plain unsafe. He was kept in our line of sight the
entire time. The return home, I had to hold his hand through the airport
instead of my three year old’s because he was refusing to comply with the most
basic requests. All that to say, by the end of our Maui vacation I was so deep
into my anger that I wanted to scream how happy I was that he was leaving… but
he didn’t know yet.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The day after we returned from Maui, I packed, gathered
final paperwork, and printed out family pictures for Kanoa. We broke the news
to him at dinner that we were leaving two hours later. Paki did an amazing job
explaining about family and how no matter where you go, you’re always part of
the family. Kanoa seemed excited, but at the airport said he didn’t want to go
because he’d miss his siblings. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Upon arrival in Denver, I got the rental car and we drove
directly to the program offices. They spent four hours with me asking detailed
questions, learning more about Kanoa, and then meeting him. I was blown away
with their thoroughness, their desire to help, and their overall positive
outlook for Kanoa’s future. I don’t expect a miracle cure, I don’t expect a
perfect kid, but I’m grateful for people that understand, that are giving our
family a break, and are willing to step into the trenches with us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The kicker of it all… Kanoa asked to call his siblings
before I left so he could say good-bye. He never asked to call or talk to Paki
and as he left me, he had a big smile on his face. After four and a half years,
I don’t know that Kanoa feels much of a bond to us at all and that makes me
sad. Yes, we’re “familiar” and he knows what to expect, but I’m not convinced
that he has been attached to us at all. So I drove away. I left my son with people
he had just met hours before. And I’m broken. Are we causing him more trauma by leaving him
like his biological mother did? How will his absence impact us? Will we find a
new normal and not want the chaos back?? These are just some of the truly raw
questions that are bouncing around, taunting me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I starting reading some of my devotionals (I’m only 34 days
behind in my “Read the Bible in a Year” devotional! Haha.) and God is so generous and
kind. The first two I read spoke about His forgiveness. The Greek word also means
to liberate. Jesus came to liberate us because He loves us. I know Jesus loves
Kanoa more than I ever can and He loves him perfectly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I honestly have struggled to pray for Kanoa.
I’ve been so angry and hurt, so worn down and exhausted by the constant psychological
battles, frustrated by smallest request being met with outbursts, raging, or
defiance. I want to use this time that Kanoa is gone to pray for him. To give
him back over to God who knows him, who created him, and who designed our
family for him. “God doesn’t call us to be comfortable”- I’ve said I’m going to
make this into a board and put it up in our house for me to see daily. An easy
life won’t challenge us to stretch and grow. I don’t know what God’s plan is
for us, for Kanoa, for our family. We are not the same family as before he
came home in January 2015, but we are still simply broken sinners in need of
Christ. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So if you’ve read to the end of this long update, please
keep Kanoa in your prayers. This is going to be a very difficult but necessary
road for him. We are grateful for all the prayers and words of encouragement
we’ve received over the years. We will now try to enjoy this time of respite
and help heal the rest of our family. <o:p></o:p></div>
Gomes 'Ohanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12244550654729824221noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8513374715144161313.post-62334246223208307902017-02-28T23:38:00.000-08:002017-02-28T23:38:00.172-08:00No Rose Colored Glasses Here<br />
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It’s pretty funny how God works in our lives. Paki and I
were joking around the other day that the moment we start to settle into a
routine or get “comfortable”, God steps in to rock our world. Comfortable is
not where God wants us to be. What do we mean by that? Well, we just passed the
2 year mark of having Kanoa home with us and feel like we’ve turned a corner in
the behavior challenges. That doesn’t mean we don’t have regressions (there was
an amazing display of tantrums and destruction just this weekend), but it’s
no longer a daily/hourly event and, for that, we rejoice! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Just over a month ago, a fellow adoptive mom shared a
picture of a little boy she met in the same region that Kanoa is from. I saw
his picture and, like most of the precious children I see through Reece’s
Rainbow, I want more than anything for them to find a family. After our
experience with the adoption process in 2014 (and subsequent challenges we have been walking through), I said NEVER AGAIN! Haha. And then I
read what little Jeff said. “When is my turn to have a momma?” Oh, my heart
just broke. A little boy that, through no fault of his own, is growing up in a
government institution and desiring to have a family- to be loved and belong.
So I prayed. And prayed. And finally got the courage to bring him up to Paki.
Paki’s response, “I’m praying we are NOT the family for him.” Hahaha! We are a
family that has FIVE KIDS- young kids. Our mini-van is full! Lord, are you
sure? Well, as soon as I started the discussions, God started working. Little
things started happening- a random letter in the mail from the booking agent we
used for our flights last time. (We have NEVER heard from them in the 2 years
since we’ve been back AND we’ve moved.) Some relatives Paki hasn’t seen in
years pouring into him about the importance of loving on children. They had
fostered/taken-in/provided respite for 287 children for various periods through
their lifetime! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We’ve decided to step out in faith and are asking God to
direct our path. We know the hardships, we know the cost, we know the ugliness
that can come from kids growing up in a system not designed to nurture children-
we are not naïve or disillusioned. But we also know the joy, spiritual growth,
and love that can come from opening our hearts and home to “the least of
these”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Matthew 25:40) As Paki said,
God will direct our path, but we have to start walking. Please keep us in
prayer- that we will have wisdom and favor through the paperwork process. That
God will prepare our hearts and those of our other children to receive another
sibling. (Kale’a is kinda bummed that she’s not getting a sister!) That the
attacks of the enemy will not discourage us- it happened last adoption and we’ve
already seen some things pop up! And most of all, that we will continuously
seek God’s will.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Thank you for your love and support- please meet “Jeff”.
(Jeff is an alias given for his profile on RR.) And yes, now we have to come up with another name starting with a "K"....<o:p></o:p></div>
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Gomes 'Ohanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12244550654729824221noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8513374715144161313.post-59752564009310558732016-06-02T01:14:00.001-07:002016-06-02T01:14:28.782-07:00There is HOPE<div class="MsoNormal">
A year and 4 months. That’s how long we’ve been parents to a
6 year old boy who has been through so much in his short life. It’s been quite
the adventure for us, our family, and most of all him.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s hard to write about what our new normal looks like. We
have good days and bad days and sometimes some very bad days, but we’ve never
doubted that God put this child in our family. That God has an amazing plan and
purpose for this child’s life and He took us half way around the world to find
him and bring him home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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One of the hardest things about adoption is the day to day
minor challenges. Not often anything ground breaking, but the constant wearing
on your mind, emotions, patience and energy. Some days it feels like there’s
psychological warfare happening under our roof! When people look at our family
and see Kanoa, they tell us what a great kid he is and what great parents we
are. We smile wanly and say thank you, but in our hearts we know how we
struggle DAILY to love this boy and feel like we fail in how to help him
through all the baggage that he brought with him. Kanoa’s background, like most
children growing up in orphanages or even in foster care, learn early on
survival techniques that can often mystify those around them. Children that
fail to attach to a parent (mostly a mother) before the age of three, often can
be diagnosed with an attachment disorder. What does this mean? Bottom line,
they seek out attention from anyone that will give it regardless of who it is,
defiant behavior, wanting to have affection on their own terms, the need to
control and have everything on their terms. I know some friends who would
describe their own biological children as meeting some of the list above, but
the huge difference is where is the behavior coming from. Traditional parenting
techniques DO NOT work with these kids. Believe us, we’ve tried.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what do you do? How do you help a child who manipulates
and attempts to control everyone? (Yes, our 6 year old is a master manipulator
and the worst part is, most people who meet him don’t even realize what he’s
doing.) Love is not enough. You can’t love these children to a healthy, happy
life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thankfully, a friend told us about Nancy Thomas and the work
she has done with children like Kanoa. Talk about an amazing woman who has
dedicated her life to helping parents and kids from all walks of life. We just
got back from a family bonding camp in Decatur, IL that, for a week, walked us
through everything from nutrition, sleep patterns, shifting their brain from
the back portion where your flight/fight response is to the front of the brain
where logic and reason reside, building trust, and how to react and deal with
each behavior challenge. Real application on the specific situations we find
ourselves in daily. And more than anything, we as parents were reassured that
WE ARE NOT CRAZY. The things we were dealing with were not normal and, while
there is still a long road ahead of us, THERE IS HOPE. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvevdHe8mjZhIdCmRScg8QW-aP0kudDygRkuaAi021XV4tzKwkb2XZqiX63_yxj_eGyHQP2v2RZGoBmGVAMCf8c6bRN6UVkX_VMpnY8W5EQD2teENKVyF-vzDcTVRT5L_JX-rlXVGOLz1N/s1600/IMG_1134.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvevdHe8mjZhIdCmRScg8QW-aP0kudDygRkuaAi021XV4tzKwkb2XZqiX63_yxj_eGyHQP2v2RZGoBmGVAMCf8c6bRN6UVkX_VMpnY8W5EQD2teENKVyF-vzDcTVRT5L_JX-rlXVGOLz1N/s320/IMG_1134.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So when you see us and it looks like we’re
“being hard” on our child by not letting him watch TV or we ask you not to
hug him or he’s sitting off to the side looking sad, please just give US
a hug, a word of encouragement, or say nothing. We’re helping a hurt child heal
in a way that may not make sense to you, but if you really want to know more
about it, you can check out some of the resources on www.attachment.org or feel
free to ask us. Just not in front of our kids. What we do ask for is prayer-
that more than anything is what we love. So many people continue to lift us up
and we know that God is answering those prayers. He is FAITHFUL.</span><!--EndFragment--><br />
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiMUK2SP9NcTUyoWG1b07DbyVX-goqPK-TJxZjdrlR36qz21IYrLJkE0Slk2PR9PLRQjKM5ATPq6J0m5BmVkqCjJ-E6qprzMoJ_nc7Uufwh852bVorT_yBRFMNf6yDQBa9H2idBgX1u7aI/s1600/IMG_1093.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiMUK2SP9NcTUyoWG1b07DbyVX-goqPK-TJxZjdrlR36qz21IYrLJkE0Slk2PR9PLRQjKM5ATPq6J0m5BmVkqCjJ-E6qprzMoJ_nc7Uufwh852bVorT_yBRFMNf6yDQBa9H2idBgX1u7aI/s320/IMG_1093.jpg" width="213" /></a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>Gomes 'Ohanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12244550654729824221noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8513374715144161313.post-11522785880152134372015-05-06T12:50:00.002-07:002015-05-06T12:50:44.444-07:00What is our new "Normal"?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
THREE MONTHS HOME!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can't believe it, but three months have
passed since my mother-in-law, myself and one small Ukrainian landed on U.S.
soil. It was a crazy trip with 3 layovers and over 24 hours of travel, but we
made it. I was so grateful to have the help as traveling with a child who
doesn't understand what is happening and it excited to maximize his new-found
freedom is... challenging. CPS was NOT waiting for us in Chicago (where we went
through customs) much to my surprise based on the struggle it was to get Kanoa
to put his seat belt on for landing, but we made it!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reunion with Paki and the kids was awesome! They had
"met" Kanoa through Facetime throughout the 3 weeks we waited for
Kanoa's passport in Kiev. We walked through the door at Paki's grandmother's
where everyone was waiting for us and he easily accepted a hug from his new
daddy and siblings! It was better than we expected and we were thrilled that
this first hurdle was a win!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was so grateful to be home and have the parenting support
of Paki. Those weeks in Ukraine trying to adjust with Kanoa were very hard and
took a lot out of me. I was angry, frustrated, resentful, and at the end of my
rope. This is also part of the reason I have not said much up until this point.
I had/have a lot of things that I am working through. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoNCRyISrWLtt9GWKJlmDZTjiROQDFAeFbOZo2xre4KdO01hX20RxKT0SjUbgccuRSohbKS2FbblZ9d0bUkdKFU6b6TI1TxFMH3sOG0Kd6a3hI3N2Suv2oDTJeVJCW-0K8aYmuQ2SUocrj/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoNCRyISrWLtt9GWKJlmDZTjiROQDFAeFbOZo2xre4KdO01hX20RxKT0SjUbgccuRSohbKS2FbblZ9d0bUkdKFU6b6TI1TxFMH3sOG0Kd6a3hI3N2Suv2oDTJeVJCW-0K8aYmuQ2SUocrj/s1600/photo.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Celebrating Kale'a's belated birthday a week after we got home. Kitty Cat theme, if you couldn't tell. :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As for Kanoa, he is doing great. We've made huge progress with
his behavior, emotional out-bursts, and language. Once he gets going talking, it's hard
to make him stop! Having our next two children so close in age as him
has helped tremendously. He imitates their interactions and words, and they are helping him with
his pronunciation. While I was in Ukraine, I was able to observe a
"session" with Kanoa and the orphanage psychologist with my
interpreter. The psychologist took him through some exercises and problem
solving/identification scenarios.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At one
point she said, "Maybe he will be better at sports." I was irritated
that she would say something like this in front of him. Now that he's been home
for 3 months, knows some of his letters and can count to 15 in English (he was
unable to count to 5 in his native language without help and knew NO letters),
I want to go back and yell at that woman that these children just need a <u><i>chance</i></u>
to learn! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcqJRYKMV0BowZEgxaN0TjOOzbkV7YmHU7w_QBpqKwvqu1evLwaK92MKhSANjVwpjkTsV2nLhUIvJJOWuamrtl77wZ6DrvSsTovvemsK4dfee32G8EXo2-6QdOIWgqUAxIW4Q1vKe_6z6z/s1600/Aquarium.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcqJRYKMV0BowZEgxaN0TjOOzbkV7YmHU7w_QBpqKwvqu1evLwaK92MKhSANjVwpjkTsV2nLhUIvJJOWuamrtl77wZ6DrvSsTovvemsK4dfee32G8EXo2-6QdOIWgqUAxIW4Q1vKe_6z6z/s1600/Aquarium.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First visit to the Aquarium</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The things that Kanoa has learned and developed in just the
last 3 months shows how much a child needs a family to fully develop to their
potential.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am amazed at the simple
things in life we take for granted. Things that Kanoa was not afforded or never
given the opportunity to experience. So as we continue to integrate Kanoa in
our family and adjust to all the changes, we continue to be amazed at the plan
the God designed in family and children. We are relying daily on God's strength
and pray for wisdom and creativity to meet each challenge. </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilr6yBvxEX6Cxc1WcUa3ehjfb3mh9sJavZ9HSICajAinI_1mUtOMUc7sp5CzA3DLKgi7M_meLGAbfitAsXAnK_W71UdtHHVas3TNmghqTN5l7xElqFNdCX_tCyg9WvAxjxwCzjdmDFheUI/s1600/Beach+bonfire.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilr6yBvxEX6Cxc1WcUa3ehjfb3mh9sJavZ9HSICajAinI_1mUtOMUc7sp5CzA3DLKgi7M_meLGAbfitAsXAnK_W71UdtHHVas3TNmghqTN5l7xElqFNdCX_tCyg9WvAxjxwCzjdmDFheUI/s1600/Beach+bonfire.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First time making s'mores, around a fire, on the beach. We had to cut him off after 2 s'mores!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here are some things I have learned in the past 3
months:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1. Love is not instant and if we rely on our emotions for
it, we will be disappointed. Love is a choice.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2. If you think you're a good person, godly person, or
generally on the up and up... adopt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
will quickly see the true ugliness in your heart, and it will scare you. I have
never been so aware of my own sinfulness and need for a savior than in the last
3 months. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3. Expectations are yours. You are responsible for what you
determine them to be and how you will react when they are or are not met.
Expectations need to change, often. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4. Forgiveness brings redemption and redemption brings
freedom. In that freedom, we are able to love.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5. When to walk away and when the battle is worth fighting.
There has been much "dying on swords" in our house over the last 3
months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We soon realized there are
certain things that we just need to let go of and adjust that expectation to a
spot further down the line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> This has not been easy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
6. Costco memberships are worth their weight in gold. Kanoa
can out eat Paki most days... I'm scared of the teenage years!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So please keep us in your prayers. We have our good days and
bad days, but for each step backwards, we can still clearly see God's hand
reaching out to pull us through to that next step forward. As a dear friend
told me today, "As parents, we're not just raising our children to be
'good', we're shaping their hearts to follow God."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Gomes 'Ohanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12244550654729824221noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8513374715144161313.post-10886361426520467902015-01-20T13:43:00.004-08:002015-01-20T13:43:57.941-08:00Adoption isn't for the weak of heartIt's been awhile since I've posted on what has happened with this adoption because I struggle with what to say. How much do I share? What parts should I just skip over? How much is too real for the casual reader who thinks adoption is perfectly beautiful? Because while adoption IS beautiful and it is an amazing journey, it's got some ugly spots. Not just some little bruise or some dirt you found under the fridge, but some knock down drag out ugliness that makes you wonder if you were ever sane to step into this new world.<br />
<br />
I was able to meet with Taras (his alias was Magnus for his original adoption listing) daily for two and a half weeks. It was great to see this little boy and learn about his world. But it was a challenging setting. We met him in one small room (with very weird stuffed animals that were never played with) or one bigger room (with 2 piano's you were not allowed to touch... found that one out the hard way, and a variety of small animals- turtles, birds, fish, chinchillas) with no one else around. So without knowing really the "rules" and not being able to effectively communicate, this little boy decided that boundaries did not exist. He was very difficult to engage and he rarely wanted to play with any toy we brought. He mostly wanted to touch and get into anything that was "off limits". Although, my iPhone was a highly coveted item and I had to guard that sucker so he didn't try to spend the whole time reprograming it for me! Eventually some of the behaviors sent me over the edge and I had to take a break. Apparently it is very common for kids in orphanages to know quite a few curse words, but I was shocked when I found out that he had been calling me some not nice names on top of everything else. I turned to some other veteran adoptive mommas and got some good advice. When his behavior was getting out of control, I left for the day. It was empowering that I didn't have to suffer through and I no longer felt any dread for how the visit was going to go! Also, that I wasn't the first momma that had this experience!<br />
<br />
On December 17, I stood before a judge and declared my intentions to be granted parental rights of this little boy. I was bracing myself for lots of questions and, while I was asked some things, it was a relatively painless. After 30 minutes, the judge ruled that I was now Taras's mother and his new name was Kanoa Taras Gomes! It was such an exciting day. Also because that meant I could finally go home to see Paki and the kids after 3.5 emotionally exhausting weeks.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrQx_JyQxfFcpr77lcZNl-s51sdwWExhrxG3MwpnYojTwfRyGBDmMzEN3adJyerwDreUryAOKvKMxOFyAGHj0M4YqrmqEiSShbyECvk5utGQwZr5jUfh-XzyxKfgbFZobRVNzcRYnTF8os/s1600/IMG_3573.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrQx_JyQxfFcpr77lcZNl-s51sdwWExhrxG3MwpnYojTwfRyGBDmMzEN3adJyerwDreUryAOKvKMxOFyAGHj0M4YqrmqEiSShbyECvk5utGQwZr5jUfh-XzyxKfgbFZobRVNzcRYnTF8os/s1600/IMG_3573.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(Outside the court house…)</div>
<br />
Before leaving, I discussed return dates with my facilitation team and was planning to return January 12th to finish up the paperwork. After court, there is a mandatory 10 day wait that was going to run into the holidays as Ukraine celebrates the Orthodox Christmas on January 7th. On December 31st, I got an email that my facilitator had an appointment for me on January 6th! My mother-in-law was planning on returning with me for the second trip, but she was unable to travel that soon. So four days later, I boarded a flight by myself and headed back to Ukraine.<br />
<br />
My first meeting with Taras after coming back was less than I expected. He didn't seem unhappy to see me, but more indifferent to my presence. I admit I was a little worried. On January 12th, Taras walked out of the gates of the orphanage no longer an orphan, but a son, grandson, and brother... And he was balling his eyes out. He pulled out his toy phone and was trying to call back to his group and while my Russian isn't that great, I knew exactly what he was saying. I was so heart broken for him. He didn't understand. He had no idea what the future held. I was just some lady that visited him and my name was mama. Mama truly didn't mean anything to him. The ugly side of adoption. The heartbreak. The loss. The unknown.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAagf3jiuT4TRKoYOTyAJG7cLUTshuv5pHxSwDRjyR3oM1pvwGrjDaqy2ZnHV73hlkk0x5dhQYKJ-ulXi4Mla4ewTXX7VvGQcDeFTwfI0FDN_OQRQ6XgOL_PsWStsh4abdMB_w6DjDmCwK/s1600/IMG_3762.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAagf3jiuT4TRKoYOTyAJG7cLUTshuv5pHxSwDRjyR3oM1pvwGrjDaqy2ZnHV73hlkk0x5dhQYKJ-ulXi4Mla4ewTXX7VvGQcDeFTwfI0FDN_OQRQ6XgOL_PsWStsh4abdMB_w6DjDmCwK/s1600/IMG_3762.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(Taras trying to call back to his group because he didn't want to leave)</div>
<br />
Unfortunately, we didn't get our passport application appointment the same day I picked him up from the orphanage. Taras and I were on our own until we got up to Kiev where my mother-in-law was going to be waiting for me. I didn't shower, I used the bathroom with the door open, I couldn't turn my back on this boy for a second. I was getting a cup of water and he tried to pull the tv off the stand down on his head. Insatiable curiosity, a liter of sorrow, a dash of anger, and a gallon of inability to sit still for a second made me exhausted in the first 10 minutes. But by God's grace, we made it through security and onto the flight up to Kiev.<br />
<br />
Once in Kiev, what I thought was crazy behavior, stepped up to a new level. My mother-in-law was so caught off guard, she didn't even know what to say. Our driver who took us to our medical screening appointments (required by anyone trying to get a visa) was so "affected" by his behavior, he went home to tell his wife about it. I actually had to physically restrain him for a large portion of the appointments and anytime we were in public. What it comes down to is that Taras was a favorite at his orphanage so he was constantly getting attention and performing for that attention. When in public, he wants everyone to see him and give him that affirmation that he has been used to getting. And oh, the things he'll do to get people to look at him.<br />
<br />
We've been here in Kiev for 7 days now and all we're waiting on is Taras's passport so we can take it to the U.S. Embassy for his visa and then we can come home. Taras is still having moments/hours, but has made so much progress in this short week. We are establishing boundaries, identifying behaviors/triggers, and he is beginning to understand a lot more of what is ok and what is not. We are communicating better and even his mental processing has improved. When we first got here, he couldn't figure out some basic puzzles on our iPad and even some cardboard shape ones. Now he is actually enjoying doing them. But his favorite toy of all time… the vacuum cleaner. That boy went around this apartment for almost 2 hours today. Then before bed, he started pointing to the floor indicating that it was dirty again and he went back to pull out the vacuum again. I had to assure him that he could play with it again tomorrow before he would go to bed!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1o9GkJUnQtABrGOP5OZLt0FSJ0l-7HXh4iMhGaMcbTUOrNqqft8GBk7Dmf91mVzSns2e24cfwJpX0K8pHstDJXn6OrODyDMU-oKfg_80zhTxjUbgf1PNkI5CUIcbgY9AETPQVBTBoU5QL/s1600/IMG_3864.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1o9GkJUnQtABrGOP5OZLt0FSJ0l-7HXh4iMhGaMcbTUOrNqqft8GBk7Dmf91mVzSns2e24cfwJpX0K8pHstDJXn6OrODyDMU-oKfg_80zhTxjUbgf1PNkI5CUIcbgY9AETPQVBTBoU5QL/s1600/IMG_3864.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(Sad that we have to put the vacuum cleaner away for tonight)</div>
<br />
And the biggest thing… at first, he refused to see Paki or the kids on FaceTime and would run away every time he heard Paki's voice. Now, if he hears my phone ring, he comes running to hear Paki say, Priviet, Taras! (Hi) and "Ya Lubloo tebe" (I love you). I even actually heard Taras practicing Kahi and Konale's names at bedtime one night. For some reason Kale'a still eludes him, but he's trying. So while he still can drive me bonkers with opening/shutting doors, turning on/off every light switch, trying to get into everything all the time, we are building ties and growing in an understanding of trust. (I hope.) I don't know that he loves me (or if he even knows what love is) and there are still moments where I question my sanity, but I can't wait to get home and see this little boy meet his new forever family.<br />
<br />
So keep us in your prayers. Once we finally get home (hopefully this weekend!!), a whole new set of challenges begin!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Gomes 'Ohanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12244550654729824221noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8513374715144161313.post-41769723764898704522014-12-01T04:58:00.001-08:002014-12-01T04:58:54.556-08:00God's ways are not our ways.There are so many things to say that I don't even know where to begin…<br />
<br />
Let me start by saying that this entire journey was started by God's prompting and He is faithful. My friend, Cathy, and I made the long trek across the ocean and landed in the freezing cold after 11pm local time. We finally made it to our apartment at 1am and were told that our court time was 9am! Figures, right? Last ones landing, but first ones to court that day! (There are 4 other families that we know of that are here adopting through the same organization.)<br />
<br />
I was full of anticipation- so excited to see little Koen's file. So excited to accept his referral. So excited to begin the adventure and our lives with this little boy.<br />
<br />
And my excitement-filled world crashed.<br />
<br />
Our facilitator met me as I climbed out of the car and said that there was bad news. A local family had taken Koen's file the day before and he was no longer available. I was shocked, crushed, overwhelmed, in denial. It was almost hard to breath. I immediately thought of another child that Paki and I had been discussing. It was another little boy that we had at first thought was the same child as Koen due to some confusing information. Maybe this was God showing us that the other little boy WAS shown to us for a reason. But he was gone as well. Already adopted by a local family. I knelt down on the ground in the snow. My mind was racing. This was my worst fear actually happening. They were going to show me children, I was going to have to decide- to pick another child. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do this alone. It was the middle of the night for Paki. I had no way of calling him. I was on my own.<br />
<br />
The other option was to say no and turn around, go back to the airport and go home. I considered it for a moment, but immediately knew that God didn't bring us half way around the world to just go back. I agreed to see the files.<br />
<br />
I had always prayed that God would not make me "triage" children. It was my original dream that I would have to decide who to take and who to leave behind. As they went through the files, they showed me two little boys. One was a brown haired little boy with a playful smile. The other child was younger with a huge grin on his face. How do you decide? They read the files to me and it became clear that the younger little boy would not actually fit my home study approval and I really only had one child in front of me. They made me wait for another hour to see if any more files were coming, but there were no more. I was surprised that (while my home study was very narrow in the children I could adopt) that there was only one file sitting there. Looking back, I realize the sweetness of this moment. God's absolute kindness. Had I known in advance that Koen was no longer available, would I have gotten on that plane? I don't know. God made sure I was on my way with no turning back. Had I traveled sooner as offered, this little boy "Magnus" wouldn't have been available as he does not turn 5 for another week and a half. And there was only one. God did not make me "triage". He placed this little boy in front of me and asked me, "Do you trust me? Am I enough for you?" And I said yes.<br />
<br />
So meet little "Magnus"…<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWe_ohLp0m54TsU7FwfCwHCYechO-ork5L5ZLYzsaSDo83lQqen_ixV0XIrcKnuCiCEEPaDwBJ_3v2B9B3QQniwsFKZ5XcyMcOGdQFrHSlQ4q1Ayy8cERSvfLrvYK_Wfd0hQrb_H13uH9h/s1600/referral+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWe_ohLp0m54TsU7FwfCwHCYechO-ork5L5ZLYzsaSDo83lQqen_ixV0XIrcKnuCiCEEPaDwBJ_3v2B9B3QQniwsFKZ5XcyMcOGdQFrHSlQ4q1Ayy8cERSvfLrvYK_Wfd0hQrb_H13uH9h/s1600/referral+2.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
This is the little boy that I was able to meet just three days ago. He was told that his mama had come for him and he was so excited that he told his caretakers goodbye and that he wasn't coming back! Very sweet.<br />
<br />
While I am very excited about this little boy, I am still struggling. My heart is still broken. I want to love this little boy freely, joyfully, without guilt or reservation. But I don't yet. It's comparable to when Paki and I lost our first baby and then 2 months later became pregnant with Kahiapo. I was excited to be having a baby again, but the excitement was dulled by the 'what if's' and 'what could have beens'. I know my heart will heal. I will always wonder about little Koen and if he is being loved and cared for. But like Paki said to me when I finally was able to tell him what happened, "He is in God's hands, Joanna." I am so grateful to Paki during this time- he knows me so well and has given me such encouragement. This is what he wrote that day, "<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">Praise God that Koen and Daniel have families! Just as with Kahiapo, Kale'a and Konale, our children are God's and are only ours on loan from God. Magnus fits perfectly into that mold.There is no loss here at all, since God has prepared our hearts to adopt and there is a child in need of a family. He has gotten us this far, how great is His plan for us!" I am so grateful for a godly, loving husband with a heart for our family.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">So Cathy and I caught a train to come see Magnus- a 9 hour overnight train ride! We didn't sleep at all and went to meet Magnus later Friday morning. We are so out of our comfort zone with language, customs (don't smile too much- it's rude!), and overall exhaustion. I am not good with learning languages so I pretty much know how to say "Hi" and "thank you"! I'm trying, but just not having as much success as I would hope. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">So keep us in your prayers as we continue down this road. I signed papers today confirming my intent and now the paper chase </span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">begins. I will get to visit Magnus daily at his orphanage and continue getting to know him. We are definitely going to have our hands full with this little guy. He has lots of energy and is curious about EVERYTHING. He is already addicted to my iPhone wanting to watch the videos of himself and of our family. I pray that he will become more comfortable with me and that we will find ways to communicate! Thank you in advance for all your prayers!</span></span>Gomes 'Ohanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12244550654729824221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8513374715144161313.post-1206036895279147592014-11-13T15:24:00.001-08:002014-11-13T15:24:52.464-08:00Here we go- TIME TO CATCH A PLANE!As of our last update, all of our documents were submitted to the courts on October 16th. We expected to find out when I would be traveling to go meet our future son next week at the earliest and be traveling around the second week in December…<br />
<br />
And then the phone call came yesterday morning. It actually woke me up since Paki was being so sweet and took the kids downstairs so I could catch a little more sleep. It was our awesome facilitator letting us know that our court date is November 26th!!! Which means, I'm climbing on a flight on November 24th!! AHHHH! I was completely unprepared for such a fast turn around, but am so grateful that, in just a few weeks, I get to meet this little boy that we've been falling in love with over the past 8 months!<br />
<br />
As usual, God is paving the way for this to happen.<br />
1. The Child Development Center has openings for all 3 of our kids for child care while I'm gone!<br />
2. My mom is able to come out earlier to help Paki so he can study in the evenings and weekends!<br />
3. My dear friend, Cathy, is able to travel with me at the earlier date!<br />
<br />
We are so excited and continue to chase down last minute paperwork, notaries, and a zillion other details. I've been carrying my passport around in my purse since before we left Hawaii so it couldn't get lost in the move. One less thing on my list to find!<br />
<br />
Please keep us in your prayers as we move forward on this adventure. Cathy and I will be missing some holidays with our families here in the U.S., but I can't imagine a better Christmas present than getting to bring home the newest member of our family! So much to be Thankful for!!Gomes 'Ohanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12244550654729824221noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8513374715144161313.post-82487426899277553712014-10-20T20:39:00.000-07:002014-10-20T20:39:27.111-07:00Finally SUBMITTED!!We got the amazing news that on Thursday, October 16th, all of our paperwork was finally submitted to the court system of the country that we're adopting from! (Yes! We miraculously got all our paperwork over there and translated in time!) Our counter stopped on the expiration of our documents (thank you, Lord!) and now our counter starts for when we find out our travel/court date. <br />
<br />
I am simply amazed at the facilitation team we are working with and the encouragement that we have been receiving from the adoption community! We actually just met another military family this weekend at a church we visited that adopted 2 little boys from Africa. Talk about a wealth of knowledge that I will be reaching out to when we bring little "Koen" home.<br />
<br />
Paki and I have talked quite a bit about changing "Koen's" (just his alias on the website where we first saw him) name. I have felt very torn on the subject. I didn't change my female dog's name from David when I brought her back from Iraq because I felt it would be too confusing with all the other changes going on. So she lived a full 8 years being called David. Do we want to change this little boy's name when his whole world is about to get turned upside down? After much discussion, we've decided to give him a new first name and keep his given name as his middle name. That way he has the option of what he would like to go by while maintaining at least a small part of his heritage. With our other three children having Hawaiian first names that begin with a "K", you can guess that this little boy will also get one! Discussions/negotiations are still in progress!<br />
<br />
And another wonderful update: A great friend from our church family in Hawaii has volunteered to freeze with me for at least the beginning portion of the trip! (The totally time in country is anywhere from 6-10 weeks.) I am so grateful for her willingness to bundle up and venture half way around the world! This will give us more time for Paki's aunt to set up her schedule to possibly join me for the end of the trip. While I am out of the country, Paki will be still working/going to school and have our other three angels (a.k.a. maniacs) by himself. So my mom has volunteered to come out to help so he can get in the study time he needs while I am gone! I'm not sure my mom knows what she's getting into!<br />
<br />
Thank you for keeping up with us and following our journey! As a side note, while we have not been actively fund raising for this adoption, we have been offered a matching grant of $500 by an anonymous donor. We are so humbled by the kindness of so many people through this emotionally and financially exhausting journey. If you want to help us reach that matching grant, you can donate at:<br />
<span style="color: #003300; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/sponsorgomes-2" target="_blank">http://reecesrainbow.org/<wbr></wbr>sponsorgomes-2</a></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #003300; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span>Please keep us in your prayers and we hope to be able to update everyone
in about 5 weeks when we'll hopefully find out our travel dates!Gomes 'Ohanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12244550654729824221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8513374715144161313.post-72142561523487239912014-09-27T22:39:00.000-07:002014-09-27T22:39:07.259-07:00The Paperwork that NEVER ENDS…My most sincere apology for the lack of updates on our adoption journey. For the most part, it was supposed to be a quiet wait for our sweet Koen to reach the age of 5 in November, but unfortunately that didn't happen. And we've been a bit busy!<br />
<br />
But here's the only picture we have of Koen just to remind you of this amazing little boy that we're trying to adopt:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ0-Pu4n-2YojSg3TIAAwM0FyUVS9dm4dZdx3CRoFYXBZtH0GSTFyAigv0iyA0d7f7PVqUqxam8AoAcKK7ddurComQDfnS-8cgxfu1IItEbv3chFPWNA1cTXXOce2TT1ThCZbR0s2uH47Y/s1600/Koen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ0-Pu4n-2YojSg3TIAAwM0FyUVS9dm4dZdx3CRoFYXBZtH0GSTFyAigv0iyA0d7f7PVqUqxam8AoAcKK7ddurComQDfnS-8cgxfu1IItEbv3chFPWNA1cTXXOce2TT1ThCZbR0s2uH47Y/s1600/Koen.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
So we are still transitioning from Hawaii to California as the Navy is taking us down a path that hopefully will be a great season for our family in regard to time together. To be completely honest, we're not in love with California thus far, but to be fair… Hawaii is a hard act to follow up! And I'm cold. I don't like being cold. It's going to get colder. I don't like being cold.<br />
<br />
We've been living out of suitcases for a month and a half and it's getting old. Paki's grandmother has been awesome letting us stay with her while we're working out the housing situation and I think our children almost have her house childproofed at this point. Only a couple broken items and spaghetti stained walls courtesy of young Konale!<br />
<br />
Back to Koen. We received an e-mail about a week after flying off Oahu that the country we are adopting from has changed some formatting on 9 of the required documents, and they are asking for additional copies of our Home Study, passports, etc. Oh, and now we needed a Federal background check vice the state background check. Did I mention our medical documents were on the cusp of expiring and we don't have doctors yet here in California because we JUST GOT HERE!?!? Let the paperwork scramble begin. AGAIN.<br />
<br />
We got the first round of documents signed notarized and sent off for apostille to the state of California. (Did I mention CA charges $20 per document while it only cost $4 in HI????) After 2 weeks, I called to check on them only to find out they were rejected due to the incorrect jurat that the notary didn't mention… I panicked. PANICKED. I kept looking at the calendar and counting days. We weren't going to make it. Our Home Study was going to expire and we would be starting all over again. I cried some ugly tears and finally prayed with Paki. (Why do we/I always wait until the ugly tears come before we/I turn to God??) I asked God for discernment, wisdom and encouragement, to know that we were still moving in line with God's will. And I felt peace. Complete peace.<br />
<br />
THE NEXT DAY. Paki's aunt sat down across from us and encouraged us to not lose sight of all the wonderful things we have in our lives right now- that we can trust God with this adoption. Later in the evening, Paki opened his e-mail and had a message from a friend encouraging us in the adoption and to persevere through the low times when all seems lost. The. Next. Day. How cool is God?!?!<br />
<br />
And we've continued forward. All of our documents are either done or in the very end of the process. But they're still here in the U.S. so we're not in the clear just yet. We MUST be submitted in October before any other documents expire. (Documents are only good for 6 months from the date they are signed in front of the notary.) We started this process back in April so we're starting to hit that point. We are working to get the documents over to the country so they can be verified, translated, and complied to be submitted to the courts. From the date we are submitted, the average time is about 8 weeks to our court date. If you do the math…I will (hopefully) get to freeze my fanny off in December. Did I mention that I HATE BEING COLD???<br />
<br />
And that's the update. That's where we stand as of today from the UPS store as I sent off documents to Pennsylvania to be apostilled. We are praying that everything will be finished in time without anymore hiccups. So who wants to go with me???? No, seriously. Lots of unknowns still on dates, but at this point I'll be traveling by myself. If you're reading this and have the time, and desire to freeze with me for 6-8 weeks (or portion there of) in an Eastern European country, let me know. I can give you more details. Thanks for reading!! I hope to have great news by the end of October!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Gomes 'Ohanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12244550654729824221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8513374715144161313.post-91579518971203613162014-07-12T02:04:00.001-07:002014-07-12T02:04:43.314-07:00D.E.L.A.Y.E.D...<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
I owe everyone an update to our adoption story. This has
been the most emotional roller coaster of a ride. As of my last update, we were waiting on our
last document to finish out our packet for final submission. The stressor was
the deadline of July 14<sup>th</sup> in which the U.S. was changing its rules
for international adoption. We needed to get our approval before July 14<sup>th</sup>
or we would face possibly having to start all over with a new homestudy.
Thankfully we got our approval in the mail with about 2 weeks to spare.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As fast as
I could, we got the document notarized, certified, and apostilled, found a
family traveling to the country to hand carry it for us, and overnighted (in
Hawaii, the best you can get is 2<sup>nd</sup> day) it to them. All of our
documents are currently sitting over in little Koen’s country just waiting to
be submitted to the court.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You want to
know why God is so cool? Because the country that Koen is in is currently
taking a 2-week holiday and not accepting new dossier submissions. Why would
that be so cool knowing that this is a delay in our process? Because I just got
an email today saying that Koen’s birthday was wrong and that he actually
doesn’t turn 5 until November! (He is not available for international adoption
until his 5<sup>th</sup> birthday.) If we hadn’t had this delay, our paperwork
would’ve been submitted and we would not be able to adopt Koen as he would not
have been available!!! Can I get an AMEN??!?!?!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So where
does this leave us? Basically, we’re waiting. Our awesome facilitation team
will hold our paperwork until just before it is set to expire and then try to
time it for us to get our initial court date (referred to as DAP) when Koen
turns five or just after. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It is hard
knowing that this little boy is going to have to wait just a little bit longer
before we can go get him, but in the mean time, we’re going to move to
California, find a house, get moved in and be READY for this little boy to come
home and join our family! We were trusting that God would provide the timing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our move in Aug/Sept and not having a house
identified yet is unnerving enough, but not knowing when I would be traveling to
get Koen and if it would be exactly when Paki started school, house hold goods
were showing up, and with three munchkins underfoot, it was something we didn’t
even want to think about. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then the
trumpet sounded (in my head) and God said, “I’ve got this, trust in me.” This
delay, as frustrating as it is (and as freaked out as I was that my paperwork
was going to expire before we could travel), is all part of God’s plan and by
His gentle kindnesses, we will have a home ready for Koen. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As always,
please keep us in your prayers. Thank you!<o:p></o:p></div>
Gomes 'Ohanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12244550654729824221noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8513374715144161313.post-3068012476465675192014-06-02T02:22:00.000-07:002014-06-02T02:24:38.288-07:00Overcoming Obstacles- Paki sharing his heart<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve all heard in church
and in Sunday school growing up: God’s thoughts are not our thoughts and His
ways are not our ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On an
intellectual level, it’s not hard for me to accept this word of God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Almighty One, omnipotent and all-knowing
is surely beyond my measly comprehension and I truly wouldn’t expect it to be
otherwise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s when the rubber meets
the road and God’s plan is different that my (or our, in this case) plan and it
takes me away from my comfort zone that my faith sometimes takes massaging for
me to be able to move forward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As Joanna
said in her earlier post, we’ve always known we would adopt and we’ve had a
plan in place, a plan that I was immensely comfortable with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We would have 5, no wait, 4 kids of our own
(if you had experienced your first two kids being seriously colicky you would
know why #5 got cut) and then look to adopt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was a very satisfying, low-stress plan to parenthood that we would
easily be able to handle and without a doubt we’d be awesome parents to all of
our well-adjusted, respectful, physically-fit, musically inclined, moderately
genius, full-scholarship offered, all-around adorable brood of kids.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No foreshadowing required,
God had a different plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From the very
moment I saw young Koen’s picture, my heart just yearned for him and had a hole
bored in it that any dad can understand would only be filled by trying to take
care of this little boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nevermind that
between our three children (ages 3, 2 and 5 months) dictating our nights and
early mornings, my demanding job and Joanna’s busy internship dictating so much
of our days or her night classes that made me a single father 3 nights a week
we were already strained to what we figured were the limits; we wanted to reach
out to this child and let him know that there is indeed love for him in this
world and there is a family that so desires him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mentally, I knew adoption, much less FOREIGN
ADOPTION to be a horrible choice given all the demands on our time and a
terrible stressor to add on top of all the other things we’ve had going on. When
I wrote to ask for more information, I was so sure that this was not something
that we needed to be doing . . . I mean seriously, we’ve just gotten over the
crazy nights with a newborn and we’re going to throw something ELSE into the
mix??<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Goodbye date night!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wait, why was I actually asking for
information??<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I let my mind do the
talking, we would have gone running down the road as fast as our feet could
hustle to get away from the possibility of adopting right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But God whispered “ask . . . find out what I
have for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Step out in faith, I’ll
show you the way.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And already in that
small act of obedience we have been so blessed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As Joanna and I have learned
over the years (ask us about our house hunting sometime), if we sit by and ask
God where to go and wait for a tremendous thunderclap and the clouds to part
just enough to show a white dove flitting down with a hand-written note from
God that gives us His answer before we’ll move, well, we might be waiting a
while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve learned to take that first
tentative step toward the goal but to ask God for His guidance, for Him to
close those doors that would take us away from His will and to open those that
would bring us closer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mind you, this is
not always an easy thing for me to do, especially when I know that His will and
His plan is going to challenge my world, challenge me and take me out of my
comfort zone to rely more and more on him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Our first step in this case was to seek out more information but even as
I was typing the note to email out, there was a certainty in my spirit that we
were indeed going to head down this road (many years earlier that I wanted!!)
and that if this adoption was going to be successful, it had to be a God thing
not a Paki-and-Joanna thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looking at the picture of
little Koen, I had a feeling that he’d be in Eastern Europe where there was
(and is) currently a lot of turmoil.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
fact I had a chuckle to myself: Lord, this is going to just crack me up if he
is there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we got the email response
back the next day, sure enough we find out that Koen is indeed living in Eastern Europe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a sense of humor our Lord has!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be honest, I was more than a bit relieved
with that knowledge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was a part of
me that was hoping that this was God closing a door and sticking more with the
Gomes plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ha!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No such luck!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As Joanna and I researched and dove head first into learning everything
we could, we found out that we would both have to travel to Europe to complete
the adoption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a military member, I
have to get permission before overseas travel and as it turns out, travel for
me to that region was expressly prohibited (Is THIS the closed door Lord??) and
it began to look like our foray would come to a fast ending.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Joanna was saddened but encouraged that we
would have a clear opportunity to learn God’s will in this process. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As we prayed and asked for His will to be
done, Joanna learned of an exception that would only require her to travel to
complete the court proceedings and just like that God said “see, I am more than
sufficient.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As we’ve prepared our
hearts, our household and our family for young Koen, Joanna and I have done
everything we can to let Kahiapo, Kale’a and Konale know that they are getting
an older brother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The hearts of little
children being what they are it seemed like the only question our two oldest
asked was “when?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’ve learned that
Koen lives far, far away (over two oceans, even farther than Grandma and
Grandpa!!) and that mommy will have to go on an airplane to go get him to bring
him home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether he knows it or not,
little Koen is now part of Kahiapo and Kale’a’s world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They pray for him every night and when we buy
clothes or toys they always make sure that we’re getting something to share with
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The most endearing was when I <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>came home after traveling a week for work,
Joanna and the kids came to get me at the airport.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first question out of Kahiapo’s mouth
after giving me GREAT daddy hugs was “where’s Koen?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had assumed that because I was going on an
airplane, I would be bringing him home with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were (and still are)
so many things that says this process will not work, CANNOT work and we
shouldn’t even bother trying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether
it’s mountains of paperwork to be done and re-done (I never knew that the
notary process could be so . . . PARTICULAR), the many changes in our life that
we are already going through or the upcoming family move that I’ve got by
myself while Joanna is traveling to Europe, we have become comfortable in
knowing that it is in God’s hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Regardless of the outcome, I’ve already learned so much about myself, my
wife and my family and more importantly, I’ve grown to trust Him even more. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Isaiah 55:8-11<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my
ways,” declares the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>9 “As the
heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my
thoughts than your thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>10 As the
rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without
watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for
the sower and bread for the eater, 11 so is my word that goes out from my
mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and
achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
Gomes 'Ohanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12244550654729824221noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8513374715144161313.post-61157498524499655642014-05-19T00:15:00.001-07:002014-05-19T00:15:23.796-07:00Starting out . . .<span id="docs-internal-guid-f53eb1dd-1349-1df5-976b-85e82e16ce4a"></span><br />
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-f53eb1dd-1349-1df5-976b-85e82e16ce4a"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dearest Friends and Family,</span></span></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-f53eb1dd-1349-1df5-976b-85e82e16ce4a">
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As a first time blogger, please humor me as I was definitely not an English major! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We are very excited to share with you our newest adventure in life! Paki and I have prayerfully decided to pursue the international adoption of a young boy from Eastern Europe! Wow, right? We have absolutely nothing going on right now so let’s add this onto our busy lives!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Paki and I have always said we’d be open to adoption as we both wanted a larger family and didn’t meet until we were both in our 30’s. About a year and a half ago, I (Joanna) had a horribly vivid dream.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The short version: I had visited a daycare facility and met a bunch of toddlers in the back of some stadium type setting. Shortly later there was some sort of uprising happening and I was fleeing the country. For some reason, I went back up to this upper room where these toddlers had been and found them dying. They had all been abandoned and left with no food, water, ANYTHING. They were still alive, but too weak to move- not crying, just laying there with glassy eyes. I was panicking. In my dream I was crying out to God to not make me triage these children and pick just one to try to save. I woke up from this dream crying and couldn’t stop thinking about those little limp bodies that had been left for dead. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In the weeks that followed, I felt God laying this heavily on my heart and Paki and I began researching the possibility of adoption. We saw a sweet little girl from Colombia that was deaf and she looked very much like one of the children in my dream. We started to get excited about the possibilities, but we quickly realized that we would not be eligible with Paki deploying in the near future. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Paki returned from deployment in late 2013, just 2 weeks before our little Konale (#3) was born. Life was full and hectic again so adoption was again on the back burner. In March 2014, God again began gently to prompt us towards pursuing adoption and we again began searching to see what God had in mind. We sought out to find the sweet little girl that we had previously seen, but sadly, she had passed away. I was devastated and felt that we had let this little girl down. Since then I have been gently reminded of is this: God has a purpose in everything. And the purpose of that little girl may have been to lead us to find our special little “Koen”. (Koen is an alias as we are not allowed to use his actual name until after the adoption.) And for that we are forever grateful, simply amazed at God’s continuous provision. But I am getting a little bit ahead of myself...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was late in the evening on March 25th that we saw a sweet young boy that looked surprisingly a lot like Kahiapo. This little boy will be turning 5 this summer so he will be an instant big brother to his 3 siblings! Here’s the picture we have of this amazing little boy:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQiBDBX_mlqLeWSUclvBEd9idFTnZldVPfPRbOEBrvbbNxSCjzyPqyUMChXeWkz3t2T1TTl3IrIS5qZ3snb5GQbWmgthoI0SOb29XUbOSehhVgQLGKXhvGIUWuwV4usynuzcntLAIXyjeu/s1600/Koen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQiBDBX_mlqLeWSUclvBEd9idFTnZldVPfPRbOEBrvbbNxSCjzyPqyUMChXeWkz3t2T1TTl3IrIS5qZ3snb5GQbWmgthoI0SOb29XUbOSehhVgQLGKXhvGIUWuwV4usynuzcntLAIXyjeu/s1600/Koen.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.1500000000000001; white-space: pre-wrap;">Though it has only been 2 months (it feels like SO much longer), we are almost complete with our paperwork that is required for this process. While it sounds like no big deal to be wrapping up our paperwork in just two months...NOT. EVEN. CLOSE. We’ve had some discouraging days, but we are constantly amazed at God’s grace and encouragement in such real and tangible ways. So for the most part we are “patiently” waiting for approval from the U.S. for the adoption. Once that happens, we send off our final document to the country we are adopting from to wait for our court date. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So as we embark on this new adventure, we’re asking that you pray for us. We are continuing to ask God to guide us as we step forward in faith and trust that He is preparing our path.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We do have a donation page set up through the adoption site if you feel led to donate towards helping with our adoption costs (a link should be at the bottom of the page if I can figure out how to set it up!) and we truly appreciate all the help we can get, but what we desire most is PRAYER! Please pray that God would continue to open doors for us to bring little Koen home safely and then pray that he would find solace, comfort and love in his new home.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thank you for taking the time to read about what we’re up to and we hope to have some great updates coming soon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Much love,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Paki, Joanna, Kahiapo, Kale’a and Konale</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/sponsorgomes-2" target="_blank">http://reecesrainbow.org/sponsorgomes-2</a></span></div>
Gomes 'Ohanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12244550654729824221noreply@blogger.com1